Hello! I hope you're well. It really feels like summer has arrived in this part of Scotland. We're halfway through our 2 weeks of glorious sunshine, and we're getting used to topless sunburnt men lounging around Glasgow's parks and bus stops. It's the best of times!
The week past
It's been a busy week. Back-to-back meetings, which have been helpful, but during some, I couldn't help thinking, do I really need to be here? At the same time, the anxiety of work to be done sits on my shoulders.
I am finally getting to grips with my new project. I understand the landscape of the work I need to do, have an idea of what's coming down the pipeline and don't feel like a totally confused fool when asked, 'What are you working on today, Tom?' in our daily stand-ups.
I've had some great introduction chats, and I'm starting to understand the vibe and character of the team.
On Tuesday, I had an interview/chat with Robyn from third sector lab. They run working in the open course, encouraging participants to do their own weekly notes. They were interested in what was my drive to start Weeknotes with Tom. So I rambled and ranted to Robyn for half an hour. Which I hope was as enjoyable for her as it was for me. It'll be interesting to see what coherent sense she can make from my chitter-chatter when it is published. I'll post a link to the interview, so keep your eyes peeled.
However, and this may surprise some of you, I get this sense of dread nearly every time I 'officially' talk about myself (I had written shame down in my journal, but this might be too strong). After talking, I always have these crazy destructive thoughts going in cycles around my head:
did I say too much
did I make a fool of myself
did I say the right thing
did I come across ok
I've got no real idea what the source of these thoughts is. But I took some time later on Tuesday to try and unpack them. And came up with the notion that my imposter-critical self wants me not to take myself as seriously as I should.
The photo above is of a tiny honeybee I 'saved' earlier this week. It was just sitting on our windowsill, looking sorry for itself, so I gave it a sweet treat (50/50 sugar water mix). After about 10 mins, it started buzzing its little wings and flew off out the window. Good deed of the day done!
What I'm reading
Nia Campbell is one of my fave people. She is an inspiration, honest and a good soul. She has been known to talk me down when I'm ranting utter balls about whatever is annoying me at that moment in time. Anyway, we were chatting this week about the world and its demons. She reminded me that she had created this wee manifesto of her guiding principles to help ground herself whenever life throws its bolts of nonsense at you. Have a look-see:
Last weekend Leah and I were in the car driving somewhere. We were talking about the damage that bad and ill-judged leadership can have on workers, especially if a leader is putting on an act and performing for others and forgetting what they are there to really do. This chat reminded Leah of an article, which she then read out as we drove along. It was a striking and compelling listen. I've read it several times over since:
What I'm listening to
Come are a band from the mid-90s that I've only recently discovered. Their loud, quiet, loud aesthetic is so appealing that I find it hard to grasp that I've been unaware of them for so long. Grab your ears around this:
The Rough Trade album club album of the month is Baxter Durry's I Thought I Was Better Than You. It's an album that is hip-hop, jazzy and very good. His lyrics take you on a trip through the characters of a life well spent. It's a fascinating listen:
Stop it, please!
I’m in a good mood today so I’m struggling to think of something i want to moan about right now!
Tune in next week when I hope normal service is resumed.
Have a great weekend….